Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
