told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
