Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
