marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
