No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
