i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
