Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
