I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
