She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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