Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.

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(541): View more from Oregon

We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

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(206): View more from Washington

Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.

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(386): View more from Florida

She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow

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(301): View more from Maryland

Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?

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