I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
