i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize