i just wanna soil my oats bro
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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