With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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