I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
