He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
