He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
