they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
