you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
