I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
