He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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