I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
