bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
