these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
