She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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