But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
