PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
