he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize