i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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