Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
