you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
