He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
