I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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