ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
