you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You are the jesus of drinking
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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