I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
