Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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