I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
