I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
