god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
