Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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