Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
