Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
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