I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Let's paint friendship bongs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
