1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
