Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
