At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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