You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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