I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
