Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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