I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You ate ashes out of my bong
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
