Well apparently he's into motor boating.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just cut my nipple shaving
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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