does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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