I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
