haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
