Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
