I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I will be naked everywhere
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My vagina is officially offended.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
