I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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