i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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