I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
