So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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