C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
