im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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