You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
